How to Work with People You Don’t Like – and Keep Your Sanity

In a Markets setting, tensions often run high. The pace, constant flow of information, and pressure to perform often magnify even the smallest irritations. No matter how professional you are, there will always be people who really test your patience. Martina Doherty discusses how to work with people you don’t necessary like – while managing to keep your sanity in the process.

We all know them – the colleague who interrupts constantly; the boss who insists their way is always best; the unrealistic client; or the team member who seems to spend a large part of their day reading dailymail.com or some other nonsense, rather than contributing. Their behaviour grates on your nerves and makes dealing with them difficult.

Unfortunately for most of us, we generally can’t change who we work with or who manages us – but we can change how we work with them, and that shift can make the difference between daily frustration and stress and a functional, or even productive, relationship.

Here’s how to navigate working with people you don’t like – without losing your sanity.

1. Understand Their Communication Style

Rather than labelling a colleague, client or manager as annoying, frustrating or a [insert expletive here], consider that they communicate in a different way to you. We all communicate in different ways – some us are blunt and fast-paced, others are thoughtful and detail-focused. If your styles differ, friction is inevitable.

Practical tip: Match your approach to theirs, for example, keeping things concise for people who value speed, or allowing space for those who need time to process. If this feels like giving in to them, it’s not! It means you are communicating in a way that will make them actually listen – and ultimately mean less frustration for you.

[Recommended reading tip: Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson]

2. Is It a Clash of Values?

Sometimes the problem isn’t communication style, it’s values. Maybe you think that a certain person is completely self-centred, or a lazy sod that doesn’t pull their weight. These situations are tough because they touch on fairness and integrity.

Takeaway: Ask yourself whether your concerns are based on observable facts (e.g. missing deadlines or taking credit for others’ work) or is it your personal judgement or feeling about how they behave? If certain behaviours are problematic, document patterns if needed and raise concerns constructively. If these behaviours directly impact results, you might need to involve someone more senior to help you address them. But don’t just ignore and hope everything just fixes itself…it never will!

If it’s your personal judgment about their behaviour, then read on. Tips 3, 4 or 6 below might help.

3. Manage Your Own Reactions

Irritation often comes from how you respond rather than what someone actually does, so the first step here is to become aware of your triggers. Maybe you get tense when someone talks over you, or you feel drained by constant complaining? These reactions indicate what really matters to you and could include respect, focus, or fairness.

Practical tip: Pay attention to when your frustration spikes. Does someone loudly speculating on market movements get under your skin when you are trying to focus on something that needs your concentration? Is it during meetings? When deadlines are close? With certain phrases or habits? Their voice? By identifying what irritates you, you can start to separate the action from the person. This makes it easier to stay calm, address the issue directly if needed, and keep a focus on solving the problem rather than stewing in irritation.

4. Find Common Ground

Even when personalities clash, there will always be something you can connect on – you just have to find it. It doesn’t have to be about work – it might be a shared interest, a similar sense of humour, or even something as simple as both being coffee lovers or parents juggling school runs or holidays. These small points of connection can soften tension and make collaboration feel more human.

Practical tip: Pay attention during casual conversations or breaks. Look for small overlaps in hobbies, experiences, or values. If work discussions get heated, steer the relationship back to those common threads. It’s much harder to dislike someone entirely once you’ve found even one area where you relate.

5. Set Your Boundaries

Disliking someone doesn’t mean you have to tolerate disruptive or unacceptable behaviour. Without boundaries, even small irritations can escalate into major stress or negatively impact your productivity

Practical tip: Boundaries aren’t about confrontation – they’re about clarity, and they exist to help protect everyone’s time, energy, and professional focus. Use respectful but firm language to set yours e.g. “I’d like to finish my point before moving on.” or “I’m happy to help, but I need responses in writing so I can track progress.”

Setting boundaries early can reduce misunderstandings, prevent repeated frustration and create a predictable framework for interaction.

6. Shift Your Perspective

It’s easy to focus only on what frustrates you about someone, but even if it doesn’t match your style, almost everyone brings value. By consciously shifting your perspective, you reduce personal irritation and may even discover opportunities to learn from them.

Practical tip: Take a moment to identify at least one strength or skill in the person’s approach. For example:

• The pedantic, detail-oriented colleague may catch mistakes you would overlook.
• The assertive, blunt colleague may push a project forward when it’s stuck.
• The demanding client may force you to sharpen your analysis or improve how you communicate your recommendations.

Even small acknowledgments of value can transform frustration into some form of appreciation.

7. Know When to Escalate or Let Go

Not every difficult colleague is a lost cause, sometimes the tension is simply a matter of clashing styles and/or your reactions to your differences. However, when someone’s behaviour goes beyond being annoying and starts to harm the team, the culture, or your wellbeing, that’s when action is needed.

Practical tip: Ask yourself a few questions:

• Is this behaviour undermining productivity, morale, or trust?
• Is it a pattern (repeated lateness, dismissiveness, exclusion), or a one-off mistake?
• Does it cross into disrespect, bullying, or harassment?

If the answer to these leans toward harm or repetition, it’s time to escalate – document the behaviour, speak with someone more senior, or involve HR. However, if it’s simply a clash of personalities or source of irritation, it might be a case of learning to adjust your expectations, and move on. Learning to distinguish between the two will save you a lot of stress and energy.

The reality is, you won’t always like the people you work with – and you don’t need to, but by adjusting your communication, managing your reactions, and setting boundaries, you can work effectively with almost anyone. Along the way, you’ll also sharpen invaluable skills like diplomacy, patience, and emotional intelligence.

Martina Doherty is an independent business psychologist, coach and trainer, and founder of MD Consulting